世间奇伟诡怪之脑洞尽在余之颅内喀斯特。

时江川传 The Bildungsroman of Riv'r Stream Timeth

【中古英语版】时江川传 附原文

The Bildungsroman of Riv'r Stream Timeth

 

——————————————————————————————我是感叹汉语博大精深的分割线——————————————————————————————————————————

Riv’r Stream Timeth, a capital local who is't ad'r'd lasses, and wouldst endeav'r to holp those lasses whomev'r yond art at troubles. thus, that gent wast nicknam'd “Riv’r bro. ” astound'd f'r his charact'r, people constantly ref'r'd that gent to the “retard. ” having learn'd such title, Riv’r exult'd and wouldst asketh any passeth'r-by wheth'r if 't be true those gents w're, the same as that gent, a retard. Alas, Riv’r Stream timeth hath fallen into an unrequit'd crusheth f'r metropolis flote, yet his suit wast all in vain. Alas! (Jade) 

Riv’r Stream Timeth, nam'd aft'r “time passes liketh a current floweth,” a quote from the analects, wast b'rn at times of heavy rains. As a lightning stroketh did strike on the ceiling, the deliv'ry wast done. Riv’r Stream wast able to runneth at three-month-old, and lat'r at the age of one, that gent couldst runneth as festinate as a swift flies, imposing liketh a thund'r, at which people w're startl'd. (Fox)

amaz'd at the child’s ability, people all insist'd yond in ancient times, those who is't w're b'rn with celestial signs at each moment possesseth most wondrous wisdom, and thus recommend'd “tardus” f'r naming to mr. and mrs. timeth. Though delight'd to accepteth such w'rd, the couple did add “re-” in the front f'r reinf'rcing purpose. (Jade)

Riv’r Stream wast titl'd “retard” f'r such a reasoneth. at an early age, that gent hast shown affection f'r lasses in his class. Some sayeth yond “what a lad of gentle nature yond Riv’r is, with such most wondrous intelligence, at times that gent shalt becometh a remarkable talent.” (Fox) 

Riv’r loves lasses coequal m're aft'r learning such declaring. Once that gent did save a lass from drowning in a pond. Did touch at his brav'ry, the lass hath decided to returneth the fav'r by marrying Riv’r. That gent ling'r'd about, hesitating, and then spake: “it is not the case yond I doth not loveth thee, yet i has't committ'd mine own life to each and ev'ry lass yond walks this earth, unable to recommit t to thee!” people compliment'd his det'rmination, to which Riv’r Stream did remain staunch. (Fox)  

One day, Riv’r cameth across metropolis flote, whom his heart suddenly rejoic'd f'r, liketh a roe de'r running wild. That gent stalk'd metropolis f'r a while and hath found that gent a p'rson as sacr'd as heaven. Then that gent contemplat'd yond metropolis is not a lass. gradually realizing such staring fact, Riv’r hath felt as if 't be true did strike by num'rous thund'rs, as if 't be true all his life wast in vain. Rem’rse did fill his heart, driving that gent lamenting ov'r his desk day and night, with snivels and drops of sorrow all ov'r his visage. His cater-cousins hath found such emotions rath'r confusing, and Riv’r did explain, “one yond is f'r all the lasses, shouldst taketh lasses’ joy as his owneth bliss, and lasses’ s'rrow his owneth w'rries, and how couldst non-lass dominant his heart?!” (Jade)

Ev’r since then, Riv’r setteth his resolutions to putteth maximum diligence into practicing lass-protecting martial arts and becoming the second scholar of encyclopedia school. with mutual encouragement with “Howe bro,” togeth'r those gents pick'd up tai chi. Riv’r hast at each moment been swift at running since an early age, which plus his hard w'rk, nearly hath reached his aspirations. At the nonce of school games, Riv’r combated 'gainst twenty-four well-exp'rienc'd athletes of magical and f'rocious momentum, and wonneth the first lodging. Yet that gent hath fallen on the did grind f'r ov'r-fatigue. Lasses did rush up and did surround that gent, making thighs his pillows, class bann'r his comf'rt'r and the playground his mattress, waiting f'r that gent to waketh up. (Chill)

Upon receiving such treatment, Riv’r bro hath felt ov'rjoyed, laughing so hard yond that gent ranneth out of the air, and kicked the bucket. Fin. (Jade)

 

时江川。京城人士,性好妹子。逢妹子有难必竭力帮之。故人称“川哥”。时人叹服其风骨,常赞其“智”。川哥闻之,大喜,每每逢人便问是否与其同为智。时江川慕洪京久矣,惜求而不得,呜呼哀哉!! (一璇)
时江川,其名出于论语“逝者如斯”之句。其生时逢大雨,闪电击于楼上,其母遂产。江川生三月而能走,一岁而奔走如飞,势如奔雷,时人异之。 (大神)
时人异之,皆言古之携天象所生者,必有大智,遂荐“智”字与石氏夫妇,夫妇欣然纳。(一璇) 
江川字“智”,盖因此故也。江川幼时,即爱班中妹子,或曰“善哉川童,有大智,久之必成良才!”川闻之,自此爱妹子益甚。尝于池中勇救一妹子,妹以身许之。川徘徊久之,曰:“非我不爱卿,但此身已许天下妹子,再难许君!”时人皆异之,然江川不以为动。(大神)
一日,川见洪京,心忽悦之,似麋撞于心。尾随京许久,惊为天人。返思其非妹子,乃如雷轰击,心下枉然。川大恸,昼夜伏案泣,涕泗横流。友皆未解,川答曰:“为天下妹者,当以妹之乐为己乐,妹之愁为己忧,岂可心中有非妹者?!” (一璇)
自此,川铭心励志,决心苦学,欲练就护妹神功,成为第二位百科全书式学者。遂与豪哥互勉,习太极,川自幼便奔走如雷加之勤奋苦学,果真如愿。恰逢运动会之大战,川一人战二十四名神兵猛将,斲轮老手,竟取胜,却因过于疲惫倒地不起。众妹子群起而拥之,以股为枕,班旗为被,操场为床待其醒来。(梁梁)
川哥喜不自胜,大笑呛气而卒。剧终。(一璇)

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